What have we fachidiots read in 2024?

“I read I Served the King of England by Bohumil Hrabal about twenty years ago,” Edvard said. “It was one of the novels I liked most in my youth. And yet it took me ages to read another of Hrabal’s works. I’ve just finished In-house Weddings.”

“And rediscovered your fucking love for Hrabal,” said Andi.

“Yes, and it’s multidimensional.”

“Oh, my dear," Jasmina smirked. "He said multidimensional!”

“Yes, multidimensional,” Edvard repeated. “For one thing, every sentence in his writing seems to be full of love for humanity, even though he mostly writes about human flaws. I wonder if Hrabal himself was really like this—so full of love for humanity.”

“Usually, they’re not,” Andi said.

“Oh, come on,” Edvard said. “You can’t know that.”

“I fucking can,” said Andi.

“Another thing is the details Hrabal writes about,” Edvard continued, ignoring Andi. “Like the wall breaking apart, or the paper wrapped around the bulb instead of proper lighting, or flowers simply placed in a yogurt cup.”

“Yeah, Eastern European writer, you mean,” Andi said.

“Yes, but you know,” Edvard continued, “I recently read Heinrich Böll’s Women in a River Landscape, and he’s totally the opposite. But I like Böll a lot, too.”

“But you don’t fucking love him, right, dear?” asked Andi. “Not close to your soul?”

“No, actually, I love him too,” said Edvard.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Andi said. But then he asked, “And what’s so different between the two?”

“Well, the humor, for sure. I’m not saying Böll is without it, but it’s totally different. Or maybe it’s the way they describe people. Hrabal doesn’t bother to describe the protagonists much; he just tells what they’re doing. Böll, on the other hand, spends a lot of time describing them, especially their wardrobe.”

“You brainfuck,” Andi said. “What a stupid and wrong observation.”

“Some say Group Portrait with Lady is Böll’s best work,” Edvard said. “But I don’t think so.”

“That’s always subjective,” said Jasmina.

“Yes,” Edvard said. “I liked The Clown immensely. Nothing compares to The Clown. At first, I disliked Group Portrait with Lady, but it’s Böll—he knows what he’s doing, of course. The pieces come together, and I eventually enjoyed it. But not as much as The Clown.”

“Actually,” Andi said, “at the beginning, I too thought the things were too simple, too cliché.”

“Oh, you’ve read Group Portrait with Lady?” Edvard asked.

Andi continued, “It seems like his criticism of the Nazis is too straightforward. There’s a war profiteer who wants to raise his son as a poet or professor, but the son ends up talking solely about weapons and military rules.”

“Well, war profiteer is too narrow a description for Hubert Gruyten,” Edvard said.

“You totally missed my point,” Andi said.

“Eh, stop it, guys,” Jasmina said. “What novel did you like the most this year, Norton?”

“At first, I hated the man,” Edvard said. “At first, I hated Peter Handke. But now, at the end of the year, he’s one of my favorite writers. He feels like a personal friend of mine.”

“Oh, dude,” Andi said. “You’ve read two novels in the last ten years—you can’t have a favorite writer! And Handke is really not the kind of person you’d want as a friend.”

“Life would be easier without you, Andi,” Edvard said.

“No, I’d actually like to go for a drink with Handke,” Norton said. “Whenever I hear the words Paris or France now, I think of his descriptions of the Parisian suburbs. Nothing happens in those descriptions, there’s nothing particularly special about them, but they’re still so wonderful.”

“I am surprised you idiots started reading Handke and the like,” Jasmina said.

“For God’s sake, don’t call us idiots,” Edvard exclaimed.

“Just joking,” Jasmina smiled.

“Norton, just say why you hated him at first,” Andi said. “I might read him just because of that.”

“Oh, stop it, Andi,” Jasmina said.

“OK, then, Janez,” Andi said. “Enlighten us with your most amazing reading experience this year!”

“Well, I read Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir,” Janez said.

“Oh, come on!” Andi exclaimed. “You fucking cheater! That doesn’t count! It’s bloody science fiction!”

“Leave him alone,” Jasmina said. “He can read whatever he wants.”

“Woman, you wouldn’t tolerate any of us talking about science fiction!” Andi said, this time not faking anger. “Just because it’s your fucking husband doesn’t mean you can lower your fucking expectations that much.”

“Dude,” Jasmina replied calmly. “I’ve read it too. And I liked it.”

Andi, surprisingly, went quiet.

“And what did you like about it, Janez?” Edvard asked.

“I liked all the science,” Janez said, “but I actually enjoyed the parts set on Earth more.”

“Well, I thought you’d be the first to love all the science,” Edvard said.

“I did,” Janez said. “But when I read a novel, I don’t like to read about formulas and calculations. Maybe it could be fun for readers who aren’t otherwise involved in science, though.”

“Dear Lord,” Andi said. “People don’t like formulas in novels!”

“It’s not exactly formulas,” Janez said. “It just briefly describes what’s being calculated. And it didn’t bother me—I read the novel in one night, so you can imagine how much I liked the book.”

“Some people say some parts are pretty unbelievable,” Janez said. “But of course, it’s unbelievable—it’s science fiction. Although, I have to say, Weir did convince me. Actually, the most unbelievable part for me was the fact that they sent someone on a space mission who seems to have drinking problems.”

“Is there any sex?” Andi asked.

Nobody replied.

“What about you?” Jasmina turned toward me.

“Oh,” I said. “The novel I liked the most was Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo. It makes you think. It makes you reconsider things. Especially because I feel like I’m becoming somewhat right-wing inclined. The novel features twelve black women telling the stories of their lives. Amma is a playwright whose work explores her black lesbian identity. Her old friend Shirley is a teacher, and Carole, one of Shirley’s former students, is an investment banker. Carole’s mother, Bummi, works as a cleaner. Morgan is a non-binary social media influencer and activist. Hattie is the grandmother of Morgan’s partner...”

“Dude,” Andi interrupted, “just tell us why you’re becoming a fascist.”

I ignored him. “All the characters are just wonderful. But my favorites were Yazz and her mother Amma. Well, and Hattie. I also really liked the unexpected friendship between Amma and Shirley. Amma is an eccentric character, a lesbian who has a daughter with her gay friend Roland. On the other side, there’s Shirley, a thoroughly conventional woman, but they are lifetime friends.”

“Why fascist?” Andi repeated.

“I’m getting less tolerant, I think. And my views on social transfers are changing. Getting old, I guess. But honestly, I think everybody should read this novel; it has the potential to make people a bit more tolerant of those who are perceived as unconventional. But of course, the novel is brilliant on its own, regardless of that.”